What did one frying pan say to the other one?  You are a couple of minutes away from being splattered.

What did one poisoned apple say to the other as the witch approached?  Here comes one wicked looking person.

What did one leaf say to another as he crawled down a branch?  I’m going out on a limb here.

What bird is twice the size of a can?  A toucan.

Why does an elephant keep his belongings?  In his trunk.

Why was the shark’s mouth hurt?  From flapping his jaws.

Why doesn’t the porcupine have many friends?  He’s stuck up.

What bug got too much sun?  A red ant.

How do you make lemon out of melon?  Change the letters around.

Guess where I swim?  In the water.

Guess what I eat?  Food

What do you call a bug that dances in the yard?  A grasshopper.

How do you make a bug into fruit?  You SQUASH it.

Why did the worm join the army?  He wanted to be an army worm.

What did one crow say to another when he found a road kill?  Look it’s a dead giveaway.

What did the young tree say as it grew?  I’m thinking about branching out.

What do you call two flocks of ducks flying close together?  A “w”  (two v’s put together).  What do you call two flocks of geese flying together?  A capital W

What did the strong tree say to the weak one when they got in a fight?  Stop before I snap you like a twig.

What can you say about a group of trees?  They stick together.

Why are pinecones such good friends?  They hang out together.

Why are fish so smart?  They swim in schools.

What do you call a fish that can’t swim?  Anything but a fish.

What do you call a poodle that loses its voice?  The only decent poodle.

What do you call the halo a bald man receives in heaven?  A domelight.

Where did the pencil meet his end?  The pencil sharpener.

What are two pens in a pocket?  Penpals.